|
Home
GENTLENESS
As a youth,
I had the opportunity of growing up on a farm. As a boy of nine years old, I had
a Guernsey cow that I learned to milk—by hand. Now, this cow was big enough to
have done me damage, had she been of that nature. But she was gentle. I could
sit down and milk her in the middle of the pasture—with no restraints and she
would not move while being milked.
We also had
a team of work horses. We used them to rake hay and to draw the various wagons
(hayracks, trailers, and the like). Both of these horses were very powerful in
their own right. They could out-pull some of the tractors that we had (which
were older models). Yet both these horses were gentle.
At this
time on my homestead, I have two cows, a calf, and a bull. The two cows I
consider to be gentle. I also have a bull. But I never consider a bull to be
gentle. I’ll explain why as we progress.
It is
interesting that, when we look at larger animals, gentleness is one of the
characteristics which are looked upon as being desirable.
But this
shouldn’t be too surprising. Gentleness is also an important aspect in the life
of a Christian. In fact, it is listed as one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in
Galatians 5:22.
Gal.
5:22—“But the fruit of the Spirit is love…” Love is listed as the first
aspect of the fruit of the Spirit. You might think that just mentioning ‘love’
would cover it all—because nothing else we have would be of value if we didn’t
first have love. And when we properly understand love, we are amazed at how much
is actually covered. But God inspired a number of different attributes to be
mentioned individually—in their own right.
“But the
fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such, there is no law.”
All those
who have the Spirit, the Holy Spirit, should be developing all of these aspects
or attributes of the Spirit.
Today I want to look a little more closely at “Gentleness.”
The Greek word for gentleness is epieikes (ep-ee-I-ki-ahs). It is
sometimes translated as “graciousness,” “courtesy”, or “moderation.” According
to William Barclay, no English word completely captures the meaning of the word.
Matthew Arnold, a 19th-century English poet, defined the meaning of
the Greek word as “sweet reasonableness.” (The Daily Study Bible Series). Vol.
14, p. 96).
So what do we mean when we say someone or some animal is gentle?
By definition, “gentle” means: chivalrous, honorable, distinguished: kind,
amiable, tractable, docile: free from harshness, sternness, or violence.
Gentleness and goodness are companion words. Gentleness and kindness are
goodness in action.
Jamieson Fausset and Brown say of “gentleness” that it is benignity—conciliatory
to others; whereas “goodness” has not such suavity of manner.
The original Greek word, Prautes, is used to define domestic animals
whose great strength or power has been reined in and brought under control.
There is the strength or power to do severe damage, but that strength or power
is always under control. Gentleness is best defined as strength under control.
When we speak of strength, we are not just speaking of physical strength. We are
speaking of perceived power and authority over others as well. We know that
people have powers to do mental and emotional damage to others as well as actual
physical damage. And we all have that power to do others damage—through the
misuse of the tongue.
An author who writes on child training writes that “children are born with a
will to dominate. This will to dominate is amazing in its strength, profound in
its dedication and consistency, and evil in its disregard for the need of
others. It is the responsibility of parents to train their children so that they
do not grow up to be tyrants. When tyrants grow up, they learn to control their
inclinations in situations where they could embarrass themselves or lose their
jobs or friends. How shameful this is that when they go home, out of the public
eye, they take out their need to dominate on their families. Most marital
problems are rooted in the fact that one or both parties are trying to dominate
the other.”
Perhaps that is why Jesus told His disciples in Matt. 20:25-28 that
Christian leadership—Christian greatness was through service to others, rather
than lording it over others as the gentiles do.
Gentleness is used to describe someone or something that has strength or
power—but doesn’t use it to further his own agenda—and may sometimes be referred
to as a “gentle giant.”
And in that way, the truly gentle person, whose strength is under control, is
still very much able to use that strength or power in a positive manner.
The gentle person doesn’t push aggressively ahead only looking out for his/her
own future and the goals that he/she has set. Rather, that person also takes
into account the welfare of others that they could so easily step on and crush
in the process of moving forward and consolidating they position in life.
This must be a consistent position. Someone or something would not be considered
to be “gentle” if sometimes the strength and power were constrained or under
control--and sometimes it is not—sometimes others are hurt in the pursuits of
the powerful.
That is why I do not ever consider a bull to be gentle. They might seem gentle
time after time, but then suddenly turn on you and do serious harm.
When I was still a youth at home, we used to go the movies quite often. In a
number of those stories, an individual we be portrayed as an individual of
strong moral values, and when persecuted by others would respond in a manner
which portrayed meekness. But somewhere before the end of the film, the
individual would be forced into a situation and would reach out and strike
back—and would beat up the perpetrator. This is what the audience expects and
enjoyed seeing. But was this gentleness? Was it any longer meekness?
Gentleness is often confused with meekness. Billy Graham defined gentleness as
“mildness in dealing with others…a sensitive regard for others and is careful
never to be unfeeling of the rights of others.”
Gentleness, then, is an active trait—it is how we should treat others. Meekness
is a passive trait in that it is our response when others mistreat us.
Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words says
“In contrast with prautes (meekness), which is more especially a
temperament or habit of mind, epieikeia (gentleness) expresses an active
dealing with others.”
I find it interesting that the words “gentle” and “gentleness” are used more
often in the Bible (NNAS) than the word for “fear.”
The opposite of gentleness/meekness is pride. Pride possesses a person; while
gentleness frees a person.
In our lives, we may perform many acts of goodness—hopefully we do. But we must
perform them with gentleness. We must be gentle. God’s children ought to be
gentle people—gentle men and gentle women, with good manners and respect one for
another. Society should know a Christian for his gentleness. While in office,
the father of the president-elect called for a kinder and gentler people.
When we think of gentleness, we note a sharp contrast between that ideal and the
standards of our times. Ours is an age that is more often marked by hostility
and malice, rather than compassion and reasonableness. It is steeped in the
doctrine of cutthroat competition. This is one area in which I disagree with
Rush Limbaugh. Though fair, ethical and friendly competition can produce a
superior product, when abused, competition can exact a great price in human
relationships. Vicious and unfair competition can reduce man from a creation of
potential gentleness to the level of survival of the fittest. We have seen that
kind of competition in the agricultural industry. Large, impersonal
conglomerates have consumed the small family-owned farms, and often have left an
inhospitable community. Even our speech is often too harsh and has adversely
affected our relationships. Destructive, harsh tactics do not reflect the values
of the Bible.
Why is this trait so important in us? Not because it is a desirable trait for
which we look in animals. It is important that we have this trait because it is
a trait of God Himself. We saw that it is an aspect of the fruit of His Holy
Spirit. And it is a trait of God Himself.
God reveals His goodness through the acts of kindness bestowed upon us. Surely
one of the greatest characteristics of God Himself is his gentleness. His mercy,
patience and long-suffering describe the nature with which God deals with us.
Without God’s gentleness, we would be consumed by His wrath at our
unfaithfulness and our sins against Him.
What is often overlooked is that Christ’s ministry was one of gentleness. Sure,
there were times when He upbraided the Pharisees, for the religious type who
pretended not to see, our Savior could be extremely strait forward. But there is
no mistaking the gentleness with which Jesus dealt with the sinners with whom He
dealt.
In Jesus’ many statements about Himself, one of the most memorable is found in
Matthew 11:28-30. Here He plainly states that He is “gentle and lowly in
heart.”
Let’s read
that: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you
rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly
in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My
burden is light.”
People are at ease around a truly gentle Christian.
Isaiah prophesied of the coming of Jesus. Isa. 42:3—“A bruised reed He
will not break, and smoking flax (wick) he will not quench; He will bring forth
justice for truth.”
Can you picture the bruised reed? Fragile—easily shaken by the wind? Bent over,
discolored, having been beaten and broken by some force? Perhaps someone had
whipped their way through a cattail marsh and thrashed a stick ahead of them,
bashing the cattails to the side to ease their progress, leaving a clearly
marked trail of destruction in their wake…or the smoldering flax wick—gasping
for air, almost drowning in the wax, weak and flickering—we are just waiting for
it to go out in a feeble puff of smoke.
Sometimes it seems our world full of people like that. Matt. 12:20—“A
bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax (wick) He will not quench, till
He sends forth just to victory; and in His name Gentiles will trust.” The
bruised reed and smoldering wick would be those who are hurting, spiritually
weak, or of little faith. They need to be treated with gentleness until their
true need is exposed and they open up to ask for help. The scriptures say the
bruised reeds, the ones whose light of life is barely flickering, who are at
best feeble and who besides are oppressed by calamity or by the sense of sin,
will not be not be broken.
Maybe we are battling some physical illness. We are aware of the many prayer
requests for those facing these trials. The same is true of all throughout
society.
Maybe we are experiencing difficulties in our relationships with others—our
mates, our families, our friends, or those with whom we work. Maybe at times we
are ashamed—believing that we have blown it badly in some way—maybe even in a
spiritual sense. Maybe we are discouraged—absolutely nothing seems to go right.
People always seem to be down on our case. Things work out for them, but not for
us.
Many are grieving, angry, embarrassed, worried, longing, hoping, waiting—left
empty—smoldering, and bruised.
“Come unto me,” Jesus said while he ministered on earth. “Come unto me, for I am
gentle and humble in heart…” Now we stand as his ambassadors. WE in the church
are His Body. In a sense, we are to exemplify His gentleness to the world.
We all know Gal. 2:20. Let’s turn there. “I have been crucified with
Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I
now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave
Himself for me.”
Do we believe this? Does Christ live in us? Surely He does. So can those who are
smoldering and bruised come to us? They should be able to do so—and be treated
with gentleness.
We know that the Father and the Son are gentle. Are they weak? Of course not.
Let’s put some misunderstandings in perspective. To be gentle is NOT to be
anemic, sentimental and aimless. Don’t think of gentleness as something that
stops action. Remember that Jesus was gentle. Yet Jesus cast out the money
changers who violated the House of God. He rebuked the scribes and Pharisees for
their hypocrisy.
Some think that you never speak up—because you are suppose to be gentle.
Some think you never protest when evil transpires—because you are gentle.
If someone wants to take advantage of the system and bilk you or someone else of
their belongings, let them—because you are gentle.
When God and His name are profaned or blasphemed, say nothing, so you appear
gentle.
When Christian principles are trashed, maybe say a prayer, but do no
more—because you are gentle.
Gentleness must never be mistaken for weakness. For it certainly is not
weakness. Gentleness is Strength or Power in restraint. There is nothing in this
world that is as mighty as true gentleness! God and Father and Jesus the Christ
are our examples.
Yet gentleness seems unappealing to most men because they find it hard to
believe that manliness and gentleness are not contradictory. In his book, “Man
of Steel and Velvet”, a book I have read several times, Andelin Aubrey describes
what he considers the perfect man to be. On one side he shows the qualities of
strength—of steel that men are to possess. On the other side he shows the more
gentle—velvet qualities, and shows how they fit together to form the ideal man.
So how do we develop gentleness in our lives? It is not a natural
characteristic. It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit—it is a gift from God. It must
be asked for—sought in prayer. Then gentleness must be applied in our lives. How
will this be manifested?
We will actively seek to make others feel at ease—being sensitive to their
opinions and ideas.
-
We will show respect for the personal dignity of the other person. When we
need to change a wrong opinion, we will do so with persuasion and kindness
rather than domination and intimidation.
We will avoid blunt speech and abrupt manner, being sensitive to how others
react to our words. When it is necessary to provide correction, we will also
include encouragement.
Won’t be threatened by opposition, but will gently instruct, asking God to
dissolve the opposition.
- A
gentle person will not belittle or degrade or gossip about a brother or sister
who may be in a weakened condition, but will grieve and pray for that person’s
repentance.
We need
gentleness in our churches—in our congregations, and as we reach out to other
organizations.
We need
gentleness with our mates, our children, our families, and our friends—the
ones we say we love. Do we recognize and accept gentleness and kindness from
those we say we love—or is it always viewed from our perspective and in
accordance with our agenda—so that it is often not accepted?
We need
gentleness in the way we care for ourselves and set expectations for ourselves
and others.
We need
gentleness in the way we treat God’s creation.
And we
need gentleness in the way we restore those who stumble.
Let’s read some scriptures that give us instruction in the matter of gentleness:
some specific applications of gentleness.
Eph. 4:1—“I (Paul), therefore, the prisoner of the Lord; beseech you to walk
worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and
gentleness, with longsuffering; bearing with one another in love;
endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Gal. 6:1—“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are
spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering
yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill
the law of Christ.”
I Tim. 6:11—starting in verse 7—“For we brought nothing into this world, and
it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these
we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a
snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction
and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which
some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves
through with many sorrows. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue
righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the
good fight of faith; lay hold on eternal life; to which you were also called and
have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”
Titus 3:2—starting in chapter 2 verse 11—“For the grace of God that brings
salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and
worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present
age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and
Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every
lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good
works. Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one
despise you. Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be
ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle,
showing all humility (meekness) to all men. (Just those in the church? No, all
men.) “For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving
various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one
another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man
appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His
mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy
Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior,
that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the
hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to
affirm constantly, that those who have believed in God should be careful to
maintain good works. These things are good and profitable to men.”
Gentleness must be a quality of those who would be in leadership roles.
I Tim. 3:1—from the NNAS version—“This is a faithful saying: If a man
desires the position of a bishop (of overseer), he desire a good work. An
overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate,
prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or
pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money…”
And,
II Tim. 2:24-25—(again, the NNAS version) “The Lord’s bond-servant must not
be quarrelsome, but be gentle (kind) to all, able to teach, patient when
wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God
may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may
come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held
captive by him to do his will.”
Yes, surely one of the greatest characteristics of God is His gentleness. His
mercy patience and long-suffering do describe the nature with which God deals
with us.
Would you describe yourself as a gentle person? We have seen that the word means
free from all roughness, intensity or harshness. In our society, gentleness is
not a virtue to be honored. Just look at our entertainment—which even some of us
partake of—from wrestling (which no one acknowledges watching, and yet they have
high viewer ratings) to Rambo movies to the Terminator. Beneath the facade, in
most of these instances, there lies a savage.
In James 3:17—we are told “But the wisdom that is from above is first
pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good
fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness
is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
Do we have the wisdom that is from above? In our dealings with people do we
influence them with the wisdom that is from above? Are we a peacemaker, full of
mercy? Are you gentle?
Sometimes we approach people with a take it or leave it message. “You’re a
sinner and I’m here to identify and show you your sins.” Sometimes our message
is lacking the wisdom that is from above. In the book of Isaiah chapter 42 we
read the prophecy concerning the nature of Christ’s first three and a half year
ministry. We saw His example of gentleness in His ministry. We are to follow His
steps—His example, as He lives His life in us.
Sometimes when we look at the sins of our nation or the sins of an individual,
what we really desire is the power to change that person. Right now, we are all
told to choose.
Will that power come? At the return of Jesus Christ we read in Rev. 2:26-27—“And
he who overcomes, and keeps My works until the end, to him I will give power
over the nations—‘He shall rule them with a rod of iron; they shall be dashed
to pieces like the potter’s vessels’—as I also have received from My
Father.”
We look forward to the return of Jesus Christ. We know that at His return, the
Kingdom of God will be established on earth. Jesus will fulfill the second
part—three and a half years—of His ministry. Everyone will be instructed “This
is the way—walk you in it.”
In the mean time we must be patient, and must follow the example Christ set
during His first 3 ½ year ministry—one of gentleness in our dealings with
mankind.
Even then, when He does return the book of Isaiah shows us that Christ will deal
with an afflicted humanity with the utmost tenderness. Isaiah 40:11—“He
will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, and
carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.”
Because the natural tendency of human beings is not toward gentleness, for that
to happen, we’ll need a mighty work of God’s Spirit. Gentleness is a fruit of
God’s Spirit. Left to ourselves, gentleness simply isn’t on the agenda.
Why is the characteristic of gentleness so important? I mentioned earlier that
without the gentleness of God we may be consumed by His wrath. Have you ever
experienced the wrath of God? I don’t believe any of us have.
Have you ever considered the power that God has? God is the creator of the
universe. He can create something from nothing. He says that all of the
inhabitants of the earth are like grasshoppers and if He wanted to, He could
destroy us all—and yet God is gentle. If you had created the human race, if you
had all the power, would you be gentle? Yes, at the return of Christ when we are
given power over the nations, we will still have to exercise the fruit of the
spirit which is gentleness. We must first, in this life, rise above the
intensity, the harshness, and the roughness of the savage. We must be gentle.
Ours is an age in which the followers of Jesus should shine forth as lights in
the world by emulating the gentleness of Christ in word and deed.
Those who would follow Jesus Christ must by all means learn what it means to be
“gentle and lowly in heart.”
|
